Nosey, nosey

Recently, I have been moving, as most of you already know. Yesterday, the boyfriend had a talk with the ex. Not about me, but somehow I always get brought up. Some how or way, she knew about me and my homeschooling. Is this woman just obsessed with me or what. Why does she feel as if she needs to be in my business. In fact, now that I know how much she checks on me, I will be purposely talking shit, so if you are reading this, and you know who you are, be prepared!

Seems to me that you can't stay out of OUR lives. Maybe you have a crush on me or something of the sort. This infatuation that you have with me, well, it's beyond weird. I don't like you and never have. Though I don't know you, I feel as if you know too much about me, but yet not the right things. If you are not the one reading my shit, then it is your friends, who must also be just as fucked up in the head as yourself. MOVE ON!!! Don't you have anything better to do! Get a fucking life and stay out of mine. This is the reason that you were left, you are a child. The games you play are for high school kids. Oh by the way, next time you have an opinion to give, at least have some background or experience before you speak. The fact that you don't even have children means you don't know shit about homeschooling or any other schooling for that matter. Keep me out of the conversation when talking to Jeff. He does not love you anymore and your opinion doesn't matter to him. If anything, it gives him something to laugh at!!! Yep you!

Check out this vid!

I was searching through my myspace and happened upon a button that said Election 08, so I pressed it. After looking through parts of the page, I ran across this video. Check it out!

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=43346334

Finally....a change!

Well, I am happy to report that as of last week, I became a registered voter. I personally don't have to much of an opinion of politics, except for that they are usually highly paid crooks. I do understand though, that government is just like any other business. There is someone in charge, and mostly everyone underneath him is responsible for making the "business" work. It does not matter, whether it is a retail business, a service business, or even our government.

I am currently studying two classes at MDC. One of which is Contemporary Business, the other is Modern Management. In both classes, as with everything else going on in the world. I am able to grasp the government as just that, a large business. Basically as voters, we need to choose the right person to be in charge of this business. Why? So that the consumers (voters) have a say in how the business is run. Just like any other business in the U.S. there are planners, organizers, people who influence, and people who control all aspects of the business. By voting, I have now realized that I do play an important role in whats to come of my country. Just as consumers have a role in deciding what products and services are needed to be produced by businesses.

I have not heard all the issues at hand, from either party yet, so I have not yet made a decision. I will though, do my research on both candidates and watch the debates. I, will then vote on the candidate that, of course, is to my liking based on my personal beliefs as a single mom, a now home school mom, a student, and an employee. I am sure that either way, we are destined to have a better future than what is happening now. Hopefully! Of course, things always get worse before they get better. Let's just hope that this is as bad as they are going to get.

What to do??

Yesterday, I was approached from my daughter with something very disturbing. I, on occasion like to consume herbal remedies. Which I personally like to call my prescription. Why, because in my hectic life I need some release to a place only I understand.

Well, I had just finished taking my meds when she walked. Now, I always lock my door so that I am not "caught". But there is always something that lingers in the air afterwards, the odor, the stench. So she said to me, "Mom it stinks in here". Quickly, I came up with an excuse as to why. "Oh, the fan was off and it is from the rat cage and my smoking (cigs)". She gave me a look like, yeah right! So she then decided to tell me that she knows about her dad. I respond, "What about your dad?" She then whispered the work smoke. Oh shit, crap, what do I do???? I am busted and apparently he had already been too. So I decided that there is only one way to go about this. I question what exactly she was talking about. She again gave me a look like, are you kidding mom! She said that she was afraid to tell her dad that she knew about his consumption and was afraid to tell me that she also knew about me. I reassured her that it was ok to tell me things. I questioned some more about what exactly she knew and how it was handled with her father. She told me that she was aware of bunches of people that did, most of all family members. She has known for some time now, but was afraid that we would get angry with her. I was never told about these things when I was growing up, so how do I handle this???? I then confirmed to her that I did indeed. The biggest give away, she said, was the behavior differences. "Sometimes, Mom, you are so angry and then you go to your room. When you come out you are alot happier and easier to deal with." Okkkkaaayyyy! Damn, the kid is smart! From there she continued to tell me specifically "who" she knew did. OMG, she knew everyone did, which is ok, but now what!

Well, I know as a parent you have to be cautious on what you tell your kids. I simply put it to her that it was illegal and that her doing it is NOT acceptable at any point, nor will I tolerate it if it does in fact happen. She told me that she already, at 12 yrs. old, has friends that do it. I think this is horrible. I may have been naive when I was younger, but it wasn't going on like that when I was 12. In high school is when I saw it more often. At that time, even for me, it was not acceptable. Now I am a responsible adult that is also a proud parent. I do not try to shelter my kids from the real world, but I do think it is my job to give them the education necessary for them to make good decisions. Most of the population smokes and is fine with it. They have successful careers and families. So now my mission is to sit down with her and search different web sites and such, so she understands fully the extent of this "medication" used by so many people in the world.

This is how I feel right now!!

Right now I feel like sleeping. I think my kitten shows exactly how I feel.

Party tomorrow

It is the end of the week, a shitty week needless to say. I have been invited over to a friends tomorrow for a BBQ. It is going to be stress free and relaxing. I just can't wait. Sometimes you need days to just sit back and unwind. I know I do. I have been going back and forth to my boyfriends house, trying to still move in. We are making progress, but it is slow. All of this bs, has really taken a toll on me. I feel like I am lacking sleep. I have just been trying to do much at one time, the story of my life. That is why is am looking foward to tomorrow. Hopefully, I will be able to lounge around in Shelah's pool, while having a cocktail of some sort. I am thinking Bloody Mary's. For some reason, they are so nice on a hot day!!! And the best part, no hang over the next day!! I think I have chosen my drink for tomorrow, yep that's it. Drinking beer sometimes is too much on the belly.

I just want to thank you Shelah for the little shin-dig that you decided to have. I know there are a few of us who are in desperate need of it!!


By the way! GO GATORS!!!

Why Me!

I have had a shitty week this week, and it seems to be getting worse. Yesterday I fought with two people that I love alot, my boyfriend and my mom. Why do I feel like I am in the middle of everything that goes on?

Right now, everyone I know is hurting financially, including me. So there have been cutbacks on a lot of things. It is OK with me because I am a simple person that does not have a lot of needs. I do though, need things in my life to be happy. I HATE drama!! I am at my wits end on how to make so many people in my life happy. This is too much stress for one person. I can't help but cry!! Like if I am loosing control of my life and everything in it. I just want everyone around me to be happy, but because of money, they aren't and there is not much I can do about it. Money IS the root of all evil!

I know this is wishful thinking, but the lottery would come in handy right now. I would pay off mom's house so she would be worry free! I can't help but feel that I have been such a burden on her, even though I help as much as possible. I only work part-time and don't make much money, so therefore there isn't much to give. I chose to do this so that my kids would have a better education, now I am thinking they should just go back to school! I can't take the stress. Now because of the money situation I feel forced to move out! I don't feel wanted at all by my own mother. That is something a child should never feel! I know it was just anger, but I can't help but let it bother me. She is my mom!

What does someone do?? Well right now, crying seems to feel better. It just doesn't make the situation better. I know like everything else, this will too pass. But it hurts alot right now. I am sorry to everyone for everything, but I am not a superhero! I don't have special powers to change things, I wish I could. I would make the whole world a better place. I just want to be happy and everyone else around me too.

I just want to say sorry! That is as much as I can do, for I have nothing else to offer. It is funny the tests we go through in life. I know I will make it through, it will just be a little more difficult then normal.

Because of all the issues involving money, my boyfriend is not allowed at my mom's house anymore. Is this a way to get me out? I am guessing that is what it means. I have a place to go, but getting in is the difficult part. There happens to be someone else living there, so I have to slowly push this person out. More drama! Ahhh, why can't life be smooth!

I know in the end, everything will be better. I guess I have to take day by day and just see how it goes. I will be living out of two houses for now, going back and forth with my kids. Also, a pain in the ass. But I have no other choice. I must do what I must do. If I have to live on the streets so that I don't burden anymore people, I will! I can live in a nice refrigerator box. Plenty of room for a family of four!

Sunday

Well yesterday was Sunday. It was beautiful outside, finally! We have had too many close calls with hurricanes the past few weeks, that we had to enjoy this day. I had lots of studying to do, so I pulled up the picnic table and got to work. While I did my thing, mom cleaned out the garage of all the yard shit we had to put away for IKE. Then the animal cages were cleaned. All the animals were outside roaming in the yard. It is something that we do, just not too often. The kids played and well, so did Jason. There was time in the pool, then some batting practice and then was the wind down to relaxation. Mom and Shy grabbed towels and laid in the yard, while Jason and JT had the hammock. It was a nice relaxing day, I even did good on my exam, well I got a "B", better than not getting it done.

Ahhh the games...

Well, last night will go down as the first game played in the season. How long will the season be, only the ex can decide that. It was five against one and she just had no chance. Jeff invited us over for dinner, meanwhile the ex thought he was going to be at work. Syke!! He lied to her, just as she deserves. Not really, but he doesn't have to tell her anything at all, so he made it up. She walked in the house pissed off as can be. As she walked past Jeff, the term "asshole" came out of her mouth towards him. He just kept walking and ignored her. Inside he said that he was hysterically laughing. We don't want her to know that we find it humorous. The pain that she wanted for Jeff is now aimed at her.

So there we were, all of us, just sitting around the house like we lived there. The boys were playing video games on the big flat screen. Shy was on the computer at the kitchen counter, listening to her ipod. I was sitting at the kitchen table doing HW and listening to my ipod. Jeff was cooking dinner. The happy little family. Everyone doing their own thing. That's when she walked in, slamming doors. She was stomping her feet like a little kid that didn't get his way. Since we were all busy doing our own things, we ignored her. But not really. We knew what was going on, we just chose not to pay attention. I looked up at Shy (as the ex was struggling to get her keys in the bedroom door) and gave her a wink. We were both laughing inside. Why you ask? Well mainly because this is a woman who talks so much shit, but now we are there and she can't even function properly. She finally got into her room, slammed the door, walked back out, got Hannah (dog), walked outside, walked inside, back in her room, slammed door, back outside, back inside to her room, and for the night. Ha, what a joke! I wonder what she was thinking. Maybe she should do a little more of that rather than running her mouth. She just might not have been in this situation.

Wonder when the next game will be? Maybe tonight??? Ha...the saga will continue.

Just another day

Well today was just another day homeschooling. The kids are now getting the hang of it. Actually, they are doing their assignments in advance now, so they have time for other things. That is just fine with me. It makes my life easier too. So far we are having fun and learning at the same time.

I think that I figured after December, which is when I will be done with my schooling, is when I will start leaving the house during the day to do extra curricular activities. Right now it's just too tough to juggle their school and mine. Huh!

But in the meantime, they are progressing wonderfully. I have random activities for all subjects except the basics. Those, I am following lesson for lesson. I am only home with them two days, so I try to make those days the most interactive. Plus it gives me a sense of understanding what they like, so I can adjust accordingly.

This is going to be a tough year, but because it is my first. Also because I have my own studies to worry about. I think figuring it out is the toughest. After this year, it should get a little more structured.

Crazy people!

This can be defined in so many ways. But the biggest one, which is funny, is how people react to things when they have nothing else to say. As mentioned before, we are going to be moving in to Jeff's house. Well, he had a confrontation with the ex today and from his standpoint he said it was hysterical. She ripped up the divorce paperwork in a million little pieces and threw it on the floor like confetti! She then proceeded to say that her and my mother have both conspired to get Jeff to move out of my house. What is she crazy?? She doesn't even know my mother. Even if she did, would my mother actually conspire with someone whom she doesn't know. Kookoo!! Anyhow, then she went off on his calling him every name in the book. She is already going crazy from all this. I can't imagine how much worse it's going to get. I guess only time will tell. I just hope that she doesn't decide to go crazy on me some day. I don't know how I would handle that, maybe laugh, maybe knock her out!! Like I said only time will tell!! Ha!!

We have now begun...

To start moving our things to Jeff's house. I figured that since they are now divorced, I have the right to go over there and even move in. I don't think that the ex-wife is going to be too happy about that, but her happiness is not my concern. I know that we have wanted this for far too long and there is no way that I am going to allow the ex to stop that. Legally, we can, so we will!! Ha, lets see how much she can put up with. Karma is something that I am a firm believer in and now her karma is coming. The ex has done nothing but try and make Jeff's life miserable, but I am going to have to put my foot down. Sometimes it takes a woman to beat a woman. I have the guts and the know how to do just that. So will she be happy about me walking around in my bra and panties like I do at home, probably not! Oh well, I figured since she is trying to play games with my man, I can play games too. In fact, I am pretty competitive, so I will be victorious!! The idea is to drive her so crazy, she just moves out! Can she stand having the woman of her mans dreams as a roommate, nope, could you??? Some could and others would just decide to leave the situation. I really think that it comes down to the fact that she has no self confidence and she thinks maybe, just maybe, he will come back to her. Wrong, not over my dead body. We want to start a life together and no one is going to get in the way anymore!

So over the next few weeks we will be slowly moving our boxes in and then the furniture. I have to go in steps because he just doesn't have the room in the house, as of yet. When she starts moving her shit out, mine will be in. Do I sound nasty? I hope so!! It is far time that she leaves the comfort of Jeff. He has made her life so easy up until now. He has to put his foot down for the happiness of his own life. He can do it, and I will back him up. I think that a spiteful woman is something that needs to be dealt with. Who better than me, especially since she is doing everything to spite him because of me. What a dumb bitch! C'mon grow up and get on with your life. Have a little more confidence in yourself like a real woman should!

The Hurricane did nothing to the Gators!!

Well football fans, I am pleased to announce that the Miami Hurricanes could not hold back the UF Gators. Hurricanes aren't always as powerful as some think, especially in the swamp. It was a great victory with the final score at 26-3. I will say that the Canes did play a good game, but it's hard to beat a Gator in the swamp.

2 down, 4 to go

Yesterday was a sad day. Mom got rid of two of our six kittens. They did go to a good home and that is reassuring. But now we have only four. Seems like this litter, mama kitty just wasn't the mother she should have been. She barely feed the babies and she tried to get away from them alot. Well, I guess that is what happens after the first (litter). Just like any other mother, your are paranoid the first time around. After that, who cares! You know what they are capable of so you don't drive yourself crazy looking after them. Ha, humans do that with real children too. I know I have. My only question is do the other kittens know that their siblings are gone? I hope not that would be very sad for them. Does mama kitty even know. I am sure that she does, she would have to they are HER kittens. Well, I guess as time goes on they will be disappearing so I'd better get used to it. I don't want to see them go but we already have so many cats that we really have no choice.

Time to study!!

I have been so busy lately with my kids, that I have not taken any time to study. I will be completing my AA this Dec. I will have a degree is Business Administration. The last two classes I am taking are both online, which makes things a little easier. At least that is what I think so far. I have not done any reading of my chapters yet and I have assignments due soon. I hope that I can get enough done to take some quizzes and get ahead. I am so anxious to complete and be done with school. Seems like I always get in over my head. Lately, I have been so tired and just not able to cope with things around the house. It seems like everytime I turn around there is something else that needs my attention. This evening I will be taking time away from everyone. They need to leave me alone to read. I do not want to fall behind in my studies, especially when I am almost done. It would suck to fail this close to the end. I do have my TKD class tonight and then after that, reading. So if you need anything from me, call tomorrow!!!

Thanks!